AGE HAPPENS…

The Class of 1981 are now into our 40s. Remember, we're not really 40 something - we're still only 18… with over 22-plus years experience.

You know you're 40-something when:

· Laugh lines prove you've had more fun than your teenagers.

· Thinning hair means you'll use less shampoo and conditioner.

· Additional pounds solve all your winter coat needs.

· Less interest in sex means more time for reading.

· Gray hair gives you permission to be chemically dependent.

· You can now sell your prom dress to collectors on eBay.

· It's your midlife, you can crisis if you want to.

· You no longer worry which way hemlines are going.

· One cocktail does the work of three.

· Hey, Social Security operates on a first-come, first-served basis.

· Your spouse still snores, but now you can't hear it.

· "Till death do us part" is a lot closer.

· The pressure is off.

· The phone rings and you hope it's not for you.

· It takes twice as long to look half as good.

· All your birthday balloons are black. Very slimming.

· Statistically, you're less likely to spend time in a penitentiary.

· People say, "Oh, you look so good!" and seem surprised.

· "Saving for a house" is turning into "saving for retirement."

· Your mother visits you every day… in your mirror.

· Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

· "I just can't drink the way I used to" has replaced "I'm never going to drink that much again."

· Your friend is dating someone half his or her age, and isn't breaking any laws.

· 6:00 AM is when you get up - not when you go to sleep.

· You answer a question with, "Because I said so."

· You or your friends now have grandchildren.